True but thats because hes a fetus.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize