my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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