Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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