i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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