can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
