when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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