called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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