I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I will die if light touches me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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