I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Two words: blizzard sex
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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