Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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