We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i've created a new STD.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
