I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
