dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
