well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
