Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
