Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
