New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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