Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
