how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
