don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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