i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
