return my video game
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
