I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
