I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i've created a new STD.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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