Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
