You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
