yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
