wakey wakey hands off snakey
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
