You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
