Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
