My first STD was from a foam party
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
