ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
