Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
