friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
