my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
