I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
