I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We are two peas in an std pod
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Boobs speak an international language.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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