this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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