It's like God shit irony all over that family
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
