I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
