Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
