im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
