My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
