rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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