Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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