careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
