I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
