How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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