Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
