Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
