Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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