Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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